Our baby boy {Part 1 of our Cleft Journey}

Its been 4 months since the birth of our fifth child.  Our sweet little baby boy. He is the light of this house.

Constantly loved upon.

Our baby was born with cleft lip and palate, which we found out about at my 20th week of pregnancy.

When I found out, I was crushed.  Hysterical actually.  Scared to death.  How would he eat? What would he look like? What would others think? Where would he have surgery? How many surgeries?

One worry after another.  This went on for months.

Eventually this faded.  I stopped thinking so much about the cleft, and wondering more about how much hair he would have, what color eyes.  Actually at this point we didn’t even know he was a boy, we didn’t find out until birth.  This was amazing in itself…we have 4 daughters and when my husband told me we had a boy…oh my, we were so excited.  I had a C Section, so I wasn’t able to see him right away.  I could hear him screaming, and my husband was pacing around the operating room, grinning ear to ear.  I asked him, “how bad is it?”

He looked at me and said, “when you see him, it is not even going to matter.”

He was right.

Our baby boy was perfect.

twzrbesserina

Later this month, he will have his first surgery to repair his lip and nose.

All of those questions I had were answered so quickly after birth.  He nursed from a special bottle made specifically for babies with cleft palate.  I squeeze the bottle to help him out because he cannot create a suction as a non cleft baby would.  We tried breastfeeding, but I ended up pumping for these 4 months.  What do others think? Well, quite honestly, we don’t care.  We think his is gorgeous.  We are lucky enough to have an excellent surgical team within 1/2 hour of our home. He has one more surgery later this year to correct his palate, after that, it will depend on his development.  We will do whatever needs to be done for him, love and cherish him through it all.

I’ve taken hundreds of pictures of him.  Recorded video of his first smile and the first time he ate rice cereal (straight out his nose! 🙂

Truth be told, I will miss his little cleft.  This was the face we fell in love with.  His big smile brings tears to my eyes.

 My life has been so very full lately.  Very full of blessings and happiness, but also full of disappointment & uncertainty.

But this baby boy, who is so precious and content.  Who sleeps all night long and loves his big sisters, even when they put headbands on him and take his picture.  He has given us so much hope, just when we needed it.

tbr

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